A Bittersweet Mother's Day

I hope and pray that all of the mothers out there had a Happy Mother's Day! You have been gifted a great mission, to love and care for your children. And even though you love them, I imagine it isn't always easy to give all of yourself every day to them. You are certainly worthy to be celebrated, every day! Thank you for all that you do.

For me, it was a bittersweet day. While I had a wonderful time celebrating with my mom, and best friend, my heart ached deeply as I watched all of the moms out there celebrating with their beautiful babes. If you have followed my journey, you probably know by now that I have not yet been gifted with such a blessing. Being real with you, I battled myself today.  There was a whisper inside asking why. Why not me, God? I felt despair, and I felt anger. My eyes, on the verge of tears.

And yet at the same time...

...I also had faith that my story doesn't end here. That all is not hopeless. That God is preparing and refining me and my husband for that perfect time. And I began to pray for that child, whether he/she is created in my womb, from a far away country, from a mom incapable of providing the resources for her child, or maybe just a child I mentor. Honestly, I don't know. But, what I do know is that even with the faith of a mustard seed, God can move mountains. He is faithful. He knows my pain. And He knows every aspect of my life without me having to say a word. He loves every single part of me! So, today I am thankful that God has me in the palm of His hand.  I am blessed that He has already written out a perfectly woven story for me. And, I owe everything to Him. I vow not to let a day go by where I don't let my life glorify Him.  So instead of feeling sorry for myself all day, I decided to let Him love all of my broken pieces. And He filled me with a hope and peace, that surpasses all understanding.


Yep, He certainly does turn the bitter into sweet.  And for that, I am grateful.